


it's always sappy hour somewhere

by Lecrit



Series: Alec Lightwood's Drunken Adventures [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: A+ Parenting, ALL THE FLUFF, Attempt at Humor, Drunk Alec, Drunk Texting, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, Happy Malec, I don't know how to tag this because it's a mess, Kid Fic, M/M, Neither do I, Sappiness, drunk magnus, it's so fluffy it's almost unbearable tbh, mostly because Drunk Malec, sorry - Freeform, these dorks have zero chill, this is all fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 11:39:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13926405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lecrit/pseuds/Lecrit
Summary: Even if he really digs deep into his brain, Alec can’t really remember the last time he and his husband went on a date. Being respectively the Head of the New York Institute and the High Warlock of Brooklyn, plus having a daughter in her pre-teenage years and a three-year-old son will do that to your love life, he supposes.Alec loves them, would kill for them or lay down his life without question, but lately, he would also just as easily kill for a quiet night out with his husband.Thankfully (or not so thankfully, he has the names of a few Clave members in mind that would make perfect victims to his frustration), he doesn’t have to.Or the one where Drunk Alec is back, and he doesn't get drunk alone.





	it's always sappy hour somewhere

**Author's Note:**

  * For [noksindra (Rubikon)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubikon/gifts).
  * Translation into Italiano available: [DA QUALCHE PARTE, E' SEMPRE ORA DI COCCOLE](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14573661) by [kate_kate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate_kate/pseuds/kate_kate)



> Hi cupcakes,
> 
> This was supposed to be a funny fic but it turned into 99.99% fluff.  
> You can blame my child Mathilde for this, she inspired me. Love you Bébé Chat.
> 
> Happy reading,  
> Lu.
> 
> Ps: #lecrit to live-tweet as always
> 
> Italian translation can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14573661).

Even if he really digs deep into his brain, Alec can’t really remember the last time he and his husband went on a date. Being respectively the Head of the New York Institute and the High Warlock of Brooklyn, plus having a daughter in her pre-teenage years and a three-year-old son will do that to your love life, he supposes.

Alec loves them, would kill for them or lay down his life without question, but lately, he would also just as easily kill for a quiet night out with his husband.

Thankfully (or not so thankfully, he has the names of a few Clave members in mind that would make perfect victims to his frustration), he doesn’t have to.

When Magnus comes home on Wednesday, it is already late. The kids are fast asleep and Alec is sitting on the couch reading, or rather fighting to stay awake just so he can see his husband and tell him what a great day they all had. Magnus hasn’t seen them since the morning so Alec can stay up until he arrives just to share that moment with him and then he can finally give up entirely and pass out on their bed with his clothes on.

Magnus flops down on the couch next to him with a tired sigh that matches the one Alec released earlier while running after Max to force him into his pjs (lately, their son has decided that he hates clothes and would much rather run around butt naked all the time, which makes their complicated lives pretty much impossible but hey, parenting is fun).

“Tough day?” Alec asks, throwing his book carelessly on the coffee table to focus his whole attention on his husband, reaching out to softly massage the knots of nerves in his shoulders away.

Magnus relaxes into his touch. “Much better now,” he breathes out in both relief and bliss. “It was a bit of a nightmare, but I come bearing great news.”

Alec lifts an eyebrow, fingers moving to ease the tension in Magnus’ neck. “Did you recover that dark artifact that was stolen from the semi-High Warlock of Manhattan?”

It has been a bit of a predicament for them all lately, and having met the man, Alec is pretty sure he lost it rather than had it stolen from him because he’s just that much of a lunatic. It also added more problems to their ever growing lists of things to deal with, so Alec can definitely fight exhaustion and stay awake for another hour if it means bad-mouthing him.

Magnus snorts, and shakes his head. “Nope,” he hums. “Even better.”

Alec turns a playful glare on him. “Did you put a giant painting of a duck in Jace’s room again?” he asks, and he tries to go for a stern accusation but the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips is belying his demeanor.

Magnus smiles at the memory. “That was pretty great, but even better,” he says. “I had a meeting with a client at the Hunter’s Moon today and Maia clearly picked up on how tired I was and since she’s an angel, she offered to watch the little monsters for us on Saturday so we can have the night to ourselves.”

Alec feels the grin taking over his face before his tired brain can even truly register the meaning behind Magnus’ words. His sister’s girlfriend is truly one of his favorite people in the world.

“Remind me to get her some extra gifts for Christmas,” he mutters, pressing a lingering kiss to his husband’s temple.

“Already beat you to it,” Magnus retorts with a proud smirk. “I got them tickets to the Mumford and Sons showcase she was excited about.”

Alec nuzzles against him, smiling. “You’re the best.”

They are laying in bed ten minutes later, and Alec falls asleep with a smile on his lips, and a mind full of plans for Saturday. He’s thinking dinner, and perhaps a romantic stroll back home, then a cocktail on the balcony where they can watch the stars before finishing the night properly in the bedroom. They need this.

They need a night of peace and quiet, just for the two of them.

.

With peace, their Saturday evening most certainly doesn’t start.

On Saturday evening, the apartment is a war zone. Max is sitting on the couch bawling with all his might while Magnus tries to calm him down and simultaneously tuck him into his boots, while Alec runs around to finish their bag for their night over at Maia and Izzy’s. Madzie is slouched by Max’s side, playing a game on Magnus’ phone Alec doesn’t understand the first thing about no matter how many times she tried to explain it to him.

“Don’t forget to add an extra sweater in case it gets cold!” Magnus tells him – which makes Alec pause because there’s already two sweaters in their bag but he obliges anyway, too agitated to think. Magnus turns to Max, speaking in a soft, soothing voice. “Come on, sweetheart. It’s just for a night.”

“B-B-B-But I don’t want y-you to g-go,” Max hiccups, and Alec thought it was impossible but his cries somehow double as he drops dramatically on his side on the couch, opening his mouth just to be sure to be as loud as possible – Alec knows his son, and he _knows_ he’s doing it on purpose for extra effect.

Alec scoffs out a quiet laugh at his son’s dramatic ways, and leaves the bag on the floor, moving to Magnus’ size to crouch next to him and look at their son.

“Hey, buddy,” he mutters softly. “Don’t you want to spend some time with Aunt Izzy and Aunt Maia?”

Max’s bottom lip wobbles as he stares up between them, unsure on which of his fathers he should focus on to make them change their mind. “I wanna spend time with you _and_ Aunt Izzy and Maia,” he retorts through heavy sobs.

“How about you spend tonight with Aunt Izzy and Maia and tomorrow we can work on your Halloween costume together, okay?” Magnus says, and his voice is so soothing that Alec can almost feel the tension leave his own shoulders.

Max’s cries subdue a little and he blinks, fat tears rolling down his chubby cheeks. “With Daddy too?” he asks with a hint of hope.

Alec nods quickly, reaching out to wipe the tears away from Max’s cheeks. “Of course, Max.”

And just like that, Max seems to forget why he was even crying at all. “I wanna be a dragon!” he exclaims.

Magnus chuckles under his breath, leaning into Alec’s side with a relieved sigh. “We know where he gets that from,” he murmurs teasingly.

Alec shakes his head and wraps an arm around Magnus’ shoulders, pressing a kiss in his hair.

“Dads,” Madzie calls from the side, deadpan. Their heads whip to the side in a same movement. She doesn’t look up from the phone, but a smirk is tugging at the corner of her mouth and Alec doesn’t have to look far to guess where she got _that_ from. “Something is burning.”

Alec frowns, and for a moment the words don’t really make sense and then Magnus jumps to his feet, running to his apothecary. “Holy shit,” he blurts out, “I’ve been brewing a potion!”

“Magnus!” Alec calls after him, half reprimanding and half laughing. “Kids.”

“Fudge, sorry,” Magnus replies.

Alec snorts, just as the doorbell rings through the apartment. He opens his arms as he looks at his son, winking. “Wanna come open the door for Aunt Maia with me?”

Max nods eagerly, climbing somewhat clumsily in his arms and clasping the collar of Alec’s shirt in his tiny fist.

“Give Papa his phone back, Madzie. It’s time,” he calls over his shoulder as he walks to the front door.

“Just finishing this game, Dad,” she replies absently.

Maia’s grin is wide when he opens the door, but it gets wider as her eyes fall on Max in Alec’s arms. “If this isn’t my favorite little warlock!” she coos, reaching out to ruffle his hair.

Max giggles in delight. “Hi, Aunt Maia!” he says cheerfully, leaning towards her until he can grab both of her cheeks in his little hands and plant a resounding wet kiss on her nose.

Maia all but melts, just as Magnus comes out of the bathroom, wiping his hands. “I heard someone talking about a favorite warlock?”

Max snickers behind his hands. “She meant me.”

Magnus gasps dramatically, slamming a hand over his chest. “Ouch.”

“She said he was her favorite _little_ warlock,” Alec corrects with a smirk. “Nothing little about you, my love.”

“Ugh,” Maia grunts, rolling her eyes playfully. “You two really need a night to yourselves.”

Magnus’ smirk turns into a smile as he swirls back to face her. “Thank you again for this, Maia. We are very grateful.”

“Don’t mention it,” Maia says with a wink. “Where’s the big sister?”

“Hi, Aunt Maia,” Madzie says as she walks in from the living room, handing Magnus his phone back.

“Okay, let’s go,” Maia says, poking Max’s cheek playfully. “Let’s leave your dads to do boring adult stuff while we go build a pillow fort!”

Max gasps and perks up immediately, wiggling in Alec’s arms to glance between Magnus and him with wide eyes filled with excitement.

“How does that sound, Blueberry?” Alec asks with staged wonder.

“I wanna build a pillow fort!” Max all but yells. He stretches his arms out as far as he can go. “I wanna build a pillow fort _that_ big!”

“Give us a kiss and you can go then,” Alec says with a smile. Max nods eagerly and leans in to drop a wet kiss on Alec’s cheek, before turning around to extend his arms out towards Magnus, silently asking to be held.

Magnus takes him with a grin and Max giggles in delight when Magnus is quicker, pressing a loud kiss to their son’s cheek. Alec smiles fondly, and quickly backtracks to get the kids’ bags for the night. He checks again that they have everything they need and goes back to the hall where Max is hugging Magnus with all the strength his little arms allow him.

Alec quickly passes the bag to Maia and moves to hug Madzie, pressing a kiss to her hairline. “Have fun, sweetie.”

Madzie nods and waits for Maia to pick up Max to hug Magnus too.

“Call us if there’s anything wrong,” Alec says. “We’ll be there in a second.”

Maia rolls her eyes, but the shameless exasperation is belied by the fondness of her smile. “We will,” she replies. “But nothing will be wrong so you two enjoy your night, okay?”

They’re about to go through the portal Madzie just conjured (Alec feels pride tug at his heartstrings) when Max wiggles in Maia’s arms and yells a strong, resounding “No”. Maia freezes on the spot, Madzie’s portal disappears as she stares at her brother in shock and all the hopes that Alec had that this would go well vanishes into thin air.

Seeing as Magnus sighs in defeat at his side, Alec knows he isn’t the only one.

“We talked about this, sweetheart,” Magnus says softly, walking up to them to rub a soothing hand on Max’s back. “It’s just for one night.”

“No,” Max exclaims. “I want Ha’rid!”

Alec can feel his eyes widen at the same time Magnus’ do and he quickly swirls around and runs to his son’s bedroom to pick up the stuffed dragon he can’t sleep without. Hagrid seems to be looking back at him with big, green, glittery eyes filled with disappointment.

“Fudge off,” he mumbles to the offensive toy, rolling his eyes.

He never thought Max would get so attached to Hagrid –a vestige of Alec’s boozy bachelor party– but he loved it from the first night he spent with them as a baby. Were he to leave without it, the world probably end at some point during the night and Maia or Izzy definitely would have to call because Max would be inconsolable. Alec can almost hear his son’s desperate howls, and a long shudder turns through his body.

He runs back to the hall and hands Hagrid to Max, who has already started to cry again, tucked in Magnus’ arms, his little face buried in his neck.

“There you go, Blueberry,” he says with a relieved sigh.

Max sniffs, and grabs the dragon. “Thanks, Dad!” he then mumbles, wiping his tear-stained cheeks and running nose on Magnus’ silk shirt because why not. Magnus doesn’t even budge, too used to it by now.

Max accepts to be transferred back to Maia’s arms with a sheepish sniffle. In the process, however, he lets go of the cuddly toy and Hagrid goes flying, landing on the ground with a dull thud.

And then it happens.

“Holy shit!”

Alec goes very still, his mouth dropping open. In shock, Magnus reaches out to grab Alec’s arm, probably to anchor himself to reality and make sure he isn’t dreaming. Maia gasps, and then bites on her bottom lip to refrain from bursting into laughter. Madzie inhales sharply, slamming her hand over her mouth.

And Max, sweet, innocent, clueless Max, just stares at everyone like he hasn’t just sworn in front of all of them with all the poise his three years of age allow him.

Max’s bottom lip starts to wobble and it spurs them back into action. Magnus quickly picks Hagrid up and hands it back to Max wordlessly, and it is only then that Alec realizes that his glamour has dropped, his cat eyes broad with both surprise and horror.

That’s when Alec feels the laugh slowly take over him –the thought of their 3-year-old swearing being enough of a shocker to make his High Warlock of a husband lose control is really amusing for some reason– and he bites on the inside of his cheek to stop himself. Magnus catches his gaze and clearly understands what is happening because his hand twirls elegantly and another portal materializes in front of them.

Maia chuckles, shaking her head. “I’m telling Izzy,” she announces, and promptly grabs Madzie’s hand, the three of them disappearing through the portal.

Magnus makes a noise in the back of his throat that is halfway between a laugh and a grunt and lets himself collapse against Alec, his back to his chest.

Alec chuckles, wrapping an arm around his waist, and presses a soft kiss against his ear. “If our son starts swearing like a sailor, I’m blaming you.”

Magnus snorts, gently stroking Alec’s hand over his stomach. “I’m forever blaming you for his obsession with dragons so that’s fine, we’re even,” he retorts with a benevolent smile. He relaxes into Alec’s touch, and heaves out a deep sigh. “I need a drink.”

Alec nods in agreement. “That makes two of us.”

Magnus swirls in his arms and kisses him lightly, before walking away to his drink cabinet. He freezes before reaching it, however, and turns back around to face Alec, his movements mesmerizing with grace, and his eyes are filled with mischief and delight as they settle on him.

“Alexander,” he says in a slow, conniving voice. “The little monsters are gone. We have the night to ourselves.”

Realization dawns on Alec. A silence lays between them for a moment.

And then he grins, and he and Magnus move together and meet each other halfway for a high-five.

It’s been too long. They deserve a celebratory cocktail.

It turns out to be somewhat difficult when Magnus’ drink cabinet appears to be empty but Magnus summons them some mojitos directly from Cuba, so it’s really not a problem.

.

This is where things start to go downhill.

There is a reason why Magnus’ cabinet was empty. They haven’t drank in a while, probably even longer than they last had a night to themselves. With kids running around the apartment all the time and so little time for themselves, they keep their home mostly alcohol-free. Magnus sometimes has Catarina coming over and they have a glass or two of wine but she’s been busy at the hospital too, and they haven’t done that in a while.

All in all, neither he nor Magnus have drank in a long time. Which explains why after two cocktails at home, Alec’s mind is already buzzing a little. After they get to the restaurant where they made reservations and are told there was a problem with said reservation and given more cocktails to wait, Alec starts getting reasonably drunk.

The most reassuring thing about it is that so is Magnus.

There is a positive aspect to this, however: if Magnus is witty and charming on a daily basis, tipsy Magnus takes things to a whole new level and with a grin of his to a waiter, they are sitting at a secluded table in a comfortable alcove, in a quiet part of the restaurant away from prying eyes.

Tipsy Magnus is witty and charming (and so _damn_ _sexy_ ). As for tipsy Alec, well… he has _feelings_.

“I’m glad we’re doing this,” he says softly, taking Magnus’ hand over the table. “You look gorgeous tonight.”

Magnus smiles one of his sweet, almost bashful smiles. “I didn’t have time to change and I’m pretty sure Max drooled all over my shirt today and wiped his running nose on my shoulder earlier, so I have trouble believing you but thank you, darling. I appreciate the sentiment.”

Alec shakes his head, almost offended. “Excuse you,” he replies, lifting a defiant eyebrow. “You always look gorgeous, and that’s non negotiable. Plus, my shirt is probably covered with drool and snot too so we match perfectly.”

Magnus’ eyes glimmer a little as his smile broadens, and Alec’s stomach flutters with pride at the knowledge that he can still put that look on his husband’s face after all these years. His grin widens when Magnus snaps his fingers, cleaning up their shirts in an instant.

He squeezes Alec’s hand. “Sometimes I’m even too tired to even think of doing that,” he says amusedly.

“Which makes it all the more annoying that you are so beautiful all the time,” Alec retorts at once.

Magnus rolls his eyes, but Alec can see the tip of his ears flushing a little. “Is alcohol making you sappy, Alexander?”

Alec shrugs. “Or maybe it’s your face.”

Magnus chuckles, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Definitely alcohol,” he mumbles playfully, and takes a sip of his martini.

.

The food is delicious – albeit not more than Alec’s husband, if he says so himself – but they make the mistake (or is it?) of having a bottle of wine with it, which isn’t helping their previous condition.

Magnus entered the second stage of the Magnus levels of drunkenness: benevolence. Which means he is now considering paying for the meals of every single perfect stranger sitting in the restaurant.

“Alexander, these poor people deserve a treat,” he argues, even though Alec doesn’t remember saying the contrary.

“Magnus, this is a very fancy restaurant,” he retorts nonetheless, toying with the little umbrella in his cocktail. When did that happen? He doesn’t remember ordering another. “I’m pretty no one here is a poor people.”

“Good point, babe,” Magnus says with a firm nod. “Let’s have one last drink at the Hunter’s Moon before we go home, I can buy a drink to people there.”

Sober Alec would probably suggest they go home and drink some water, but tipsy (drunk? he isn’t sure) Alec thinks that sounds like a brilliant idea, because his husband is a brilliant man who can never have a bad idea because he is just that brilliant. So much brilliance.

So they pay for their meal (just theirs) and head to the Hunter’s Moon. It isn’t too far, so they agree to walk there and that it has nothing to do with Magnus being inebriated and the fact that they have had questionable experiences with portals when he wasn’t sober. They just want to take a romantic stroll, that’s all.

“Babe,” Alec mumbles as they walk, arms wrapped tightly around each other, “I think we can’t hold our liquor anymore.”

Magnus chuckles, and when Alec curves an eyebrow in inquiry, he throws him a dubious look. “It’s funny because you’re implying that you ever could hold your liquor and we have videod proof of the contrary.”

“Videod isn’t a word,” Alec retorts with a pout, that quickly disappears when Magnus tangles their fingers together and leans in to press a kiss against his cheek. “And you’re not exactly sober yourself, Mr. Lightwood-Bane,” he adds in a teasing voice.

Magnus hums in agreement. “We haven’t drunk– drunken– drank?” He huffs out an annoyed sigh. “Over four hundred years old and I still can’t make sense of the English language. Anyway, we haven’t consumed that much alcohol.”

Alec snorts. “But when was the last time we did? I think our tolerance decided to retire with our regular sleep schedule when we adopted two monsters.” He gasps before Magnus can reply, his eyes widening. “Magnus, our children! We abandoned them!”

Magnus reaches out to pat his cheek with a sappy smile. “They’re with Maia and your sister, darling.”

“Oh, right.” Alec pauses, licking his lips. “Anyway… our tolerance to alcohol is as high as my tolerance for Clave bullshit these days.”

“Well, I’ll admit I’m not feeling exactly sober myself,” Magnus says.

Alec smiles. “I know. You tried to pay for the whole restaurant.”

“But I’m not completely drunk because I didn’t mention trying to climb you like a tree,” Magnus replies, a mischievous smirk curving the corner of his mouth up. “Yet,” he adds suggestively.

“And I haven’t talked about adopting dragons,” Alec says good heartedly. “Maybe I’m wrong, maybe we got wiser drunks with time.”

.

Plot twist: they did _not_ , and such becomes clear when they make it to the Hunter’s Moon.

The bar is packed as usual, and Alec leans against the counter, throwing a completely sober smile at the bartender as he orders two gin martinis. The bartender sends him a dubious look, so Alec frowns, answering with his best “I’m a father of two so you can’t best me” look without seeming too “I’m also a Shadowhunter and my kind has a long tradition of being assholes” threatening. It’s a hard combination to manage, but Alec’s hard years of training have prepared him exactly for this moment. Or chasing demons. Something like that anyway.

Chasing demons. Getting wasted with his warlock husband. Same, same.

Alec swirls back around with their drinks, and his eyes find Magnus, chatting with another warlock by the pool table. Somehow, Alec’s brain-to-legs connexions seem to stop working and he freezes entirely, taking in the sight of the beautiful man just a few feet away from him. Magnus’ bronze skin is peeking through his black and white patterned shirt, his broad shoulders and biceps making it seem almost too tight. The top four buttons are open, revealing a slew of necklaces and a hint of collarbone. His triangular brown eyes are lined with dark eyeliner and it makes the softness they hold even more noticeable when he catches Alec’s eyes over the people between them and smiles gently at him.

Then, Alec catches a sentence of what the other warlock is telling Magnus and he snaps out of his trance.

“I would kick your ass.”

It takes approximately 0.017 second for Alec to get to them, put their glasses down on a table, unglamour his seraph blade and have it against the man’s throat.

“I’d like to see you try,” he hisses, eyes narrowing menacingly.

The man gulps, his eyes wide and broad as he casts a desperate gaze towards Magnus, who blinks at Alec with an unreadable expression. Then, he moves forward and lightly brushes his fingers over the wedding rune on the back of Alec’s hand.

“Julian here was talking about pool, darling,” he says.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Well, now that he’s there, Alec might as well roll with it.

He throws Julian a cold glance, channeling his inner “strict Dad who will _not_ allow you to have candy right before diner”. God, being a Dad has taught him so much. Mainly how to look scary when it’s needed, but also so much more. Like heating up a bottle to the exact right temperature, a skill that is completely useless for other tasks but it’s fucking _hard_ so he deserves a self pat on the back for that.

“No one kicks my husband’s ass at anything,” he murmurs. And then turns to Magnus, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Except me of course. I totally kick your ass at pool.”

Magnus’ lips part, one of his eyebrows quirking in surprise, before his entire face morphs into a call for challenge, and _holy fudging shit_ indeed, Alec is half scared and half aroused.

“Oh, it’s on, Lightwood.”

“Lightwood-Bane,” Alec corrects automatically.

“It’s on, Lightwood-Bane,” Magnus repeats on the same tone.

Alec turns to look at Julian, who is still doing a great impersonation of a combination between a statue and a fish.

“Sashay away, Julian,” he advises as he puts away his seraph blade. “Things are about to get messy.”

“I thought we’d keep that for home,” Magnus retorts with a devilish smirk that has Alec’s head spin (it could be the alcohol, but Alec has been with Magnus for long enough to realize that both are equally viable possibilities).

.

A few gin martinis (Alec’s lost count, okay?) and a couple of games later, Alec’s head hasn’t stopped spinning, and he still can’t decide if it is the alcohol or just Magnus bending over the pool table every now and then. Again, viable possibilities.

His sight is starting to get blurry though, and he doesn’t think he can blame Magnus’ overall gorgeousness for that.

“Magnus,” he whispers as his beautiful – brilliant, incomparable, exquisite, dazzling, wow, Alec really won at life – husband comes back from the bar with more cocktails. “Don’t panic but I think I’m drunk.”

“You have been for the past two hours, Alexander,” Magnus replies benevolently, and he would sound almost conceited if he wasn’t leaning on Alec to keep himself upright.

Alec nods because… well, that’s true. “I thought about it, babe,” he mumbles, “and I came to the conclusion that we are drunk because we are very, very tired because being badass dads is exhausting.”

Magnus smiles, his eyes glimmering with a mischievous flicker. He leans in, presses a soft kiss to Alec’s mouth, running his tongue against his bottom lip, and pulls back with a smirk.

“My theory is that I’m drunk in love with you,” he says proudly.

Alec giggles, reaching out to grab Magnus’ waist and tug him closer again. “I like that theory,” he replies, resting his forehead against Magnus’.

“My theory is that you both drank a crazy amount of cocktails,” a foreign voice calls in their backs. “Which explains why you’re drunk. Now can we please have access to the pool table? We’ve been waiting for thirty minutes.”

Magnus heaves out a dramatic sigh. “I guess I won’t be fucking you on it tonight then.”

Alec chokes on his own spit, his mind blanking for a moment. He still hasn’t fully recovered when he turns around to face their intruder (emphasis on _rude_ ), a Shadowhunter that probably just turned twenty-one and is just now allowed to drink for the first time in his life. There is a moment of silence as Alec gauges him from head to toe and he’s about to sigh and give up with the threat of sending him straight to bed without dinner next time he dares talk to them like that (which he would never do, but the threat is enough) when the guy gasps, his eyes widening with realization.

“Oh shit,” he breathes out. “It’s… _you_! Wow! I knew you were familiar but now I know why! You’re Alec Lightwood! And you’re Magnus Bane,” he adds, pointing a finger at Magnus.

“Lightwood-Bane,” they correct in a same voice.

The guy nods enthusiastically. “I know!” he exclaims, almost shouting now, before turning around towards a group of people standing near the bar. “Guys! It’s Malec!”

“What’s a Malec?” Alec inquires out loud, his intoxicated mind struggling to grasp everything that’s happening. Is it a cocktail? Or a new trend the youth is enjoying these days? By the Angel, he’s getting old. He shouldn’t drink. Ever. Drinking makes you _old_. And _drunk_.

“I think we’re a Malec,” Magnus replies unhelpfully. “I’ll go get us more drinks.”

Before Alec can protest, Magnus is walking away, and Alec gets crowded by a group of overzealous shadowhunters talking gibberish about how he and Magnus are celebrities and their wedding was somehow the equivalent of a royal wedding in the mundane world. The comparaison isn’t too far-fetched, considering Magnus _is_ royalty (albeit far prettier than any real-life prince they can think of) but Alec doesn’t tell them that much, because he is too overwhelmed – and drunk, let’s be honest – to coordinate his thoughts to the words coming out of his mouth.

“And you were elected Hottest Couple of the Year five years in a row for like… five years!” one of them tells him, and Alec decides to give up altogether.

They were elected? By whom? Who has enough time to lose to go over all the couples to decide who’s the hottest?

(But also, yeah, of course they were. They clean up nice.)

None of that matters, though, because Magnus is gone and Alec can’t find him despite the advantages his height gives him, and he can’t be the hottest couple of anything if he loses his other half. He can only be one hot half, and that sucks.

So yeah, he needs to find Magnus so they can be hot together.

“Hey!” he snaps, gathering all their attention at once. They glance up at him like he holds the answer to some kind of existential question and they really shouldn’t look up to him like that when he has drank enough to feel the earth spin beneath his feet. It’s okay, he thinks. He can totally pretend to be entirely sober and be a great role model for these young shadowhunters who are probably way more drunk than he is. “Have you seen my husband?” he asks them.

He could stop there, and everything would be alright. They would answer him, he would nod in gratitude and leave them behind to harass someone else. He could give them Jace’s phone number so they bother him instead.

But, of course, as he should know by now, Drunk Alec has a mind of his own.

“His name is Magnus,” he continues, and he can feel the sirupy smile taking over his features. “He’s tall, and he has the most beautiful eyes. Beautiful spiked-up hair that goes all fluffy in the morning. He looks beautiful. Have you seen him? Oh! He’s got a great ass, too!”

The guy blinks at him, looking baffled. “He… said he was going to get you a drink?”

Alec grins. “He’s so thoughtful,” he says, and reaches out to pat the guy’s shoulder. “Okay bye.”

With that, he promptly walks away and towards the bar where Magnus is… nowhere to be seen.

He could get up on the bar and call out his name until Magnus comes back to him but there are things called phones, so he chooses to text him instead.

_Nabab whebe are out?_

_Babe*_

_you*_

_Comes bac to me_

_I don’T wants the cocktaibsk want you_

_Love of tmifleie_

_my_

_life_

_I can’T be a maLec without you_

_I had to mcbad h to deink_

_wWe always find our way balcony o eahch other come back_

_I lvoe you_

_We’re you serious bbout duckign on hte pool table? Asking for abs friend_

_Abs? Youv’Ve got Those lol_

_WHEre are oyouuuuuuuuuuuuu???????_

_I msis uyo_

_I miss our childenre too_

_shit wehre are the clihlidren_

_never midn they’Re iwht maia and izzy_

_no nened to panic_

_chill babse_

“Dude, are you okay?”

Alec looks up from his phone to find the same guy from earlier, a pint of beer in his hand, a concerned frown pulling his brows together. “Uh?”

“Are you okay?” he repeats. “You were typing on your phone and swaying on your feet and mumbling some weird stuff about your family having disappeared?”

“Magnus,” Alec whines. “I can’t find my Magnus.”

The guy’s scowl gets deeper, but concern seems to be addressed more to his sanity now. “He’s there,” he replies. “By the jukebox. Dancing.”

Alec twirls around and sure enough, Magnus is there, a few feet away from him, a margarita in his hand, slowly moving to the music, his head tossed back and his eyes closed as he lets himself be raptured by the music, just as Alec is completely and utterly raptured by him.

His body moves on its own accord, inexorably attracted to the man he loves. Magnus opens his eyes as if he can sense him approaching, and a gentle smile looms on his features.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he murmurs.

“You abandoned me with those weird people,” Alec admonishes him, but he still goes willingly when Magnus curls a hand in the collar of his shirt and tugs him closer.

“I’m sorry,” Magnus says, fingers stroking lightly the hair at the nape of Alec’s neck. “I got distracted by the music. But you found me.”

Alec nods, pressing a kiss to his temple. There is a collegial aww in his back and Alec purses his lips, and looks back at the crowd. He must not look as threatening as he was going for because no one seems particularly afraid. Drunk Alec has no Dad game.

On the contrary, the guy from earlier is almost pouting. “I want a relationship like this too,” he whines to his friends, who give various mumbles of agreement in answer.

Alec turns back towards his husband. “Magnus, we should adopt him,” he promptly announces.

Magnus lifts an eyebrow. “Alec, babe, this is a grown adult.”

“But he looks sad!” Alec protests in outrage.

“Alec, we can’t adopt people just because they look sad,” Magnus argues.

“Not with that attitude we can’t!” Alec huffs out, although he is definitely not pouting.

“We already have two children,” Magnus adds.

Yeah, okay. Alec has to admit that’s a good argument.

“I kinda miss them,” he sighs.

Magnus pauses for a second, stares up at him and, after a moment of silence, heaves out a deep breath. “Oh, thank you, I thought I was the only one!”

Alec shakes his head. “No, I totally miss the little shits!”

“Me too!” Magnus exclaims. “They’re little shits but they’re _our_ little shits.” He pauses, a smile slowly taking over his entire face. “Okay, that’s actually why I disappeared,” he continues, raising his voice a little now, clearly enthusiastic at the idea of his dismay being shared. “I sneaked away to text Maia and ask how the kids were doing.”

Alec’s eyes broaden. “What did she say?” He can hear the eagerness in his own voice, but it matches Magnus’ perfectly, so it doesn’t really bother him.

“I’m guessing that sext you sent in wasn’t meant for me. Aren’t you with Alec? Why are you trying to sext him? Are you drunk?” Magnus reads out loud in a poor imitation of Maia’s voice, eyes riveted on his phone. “And she sent another one right after, ‘everything’s good, we’re watching the Lion King and definitely not eating candy before bed time.’ Well, joke’s on her, she’s the one who’s gonna suffer through a sleepless night with two overexcited monsters.”

Alec chuckles, and leans forward to wrap his arms around Magnus, burying his face in his neck. “Do you want to go home and FaceTime them?” he offers, but his own answer is obvious in his tone.

“Fuck yes,” Magnus says. “I’m so drunk, I need to drink a lot of water and cuddle with you on the couch.”

“That sounds perfect,” Alec says with a smile.

“And maybe climb you like a tree.”

“No complaints here, husband.”

.

So they get home.

And the whole thing was uneventful, thank you very much. They totally didn’t have to pay a random warlock in the bar who was slightly less drunk than Magnus to conjure a portal for them because Magnus was, or rather _is_ drunk and they didn’t want to end up in Tokyo again (“It happened once and I needed some comfort Okonomiyaki after a shitty day, let me live Alec!” - “Like you all are letting me live about the times I was drunk, right?”).

Anyway, they make it home mostly unscathed. Drunk Magnus is also a little clumsy and he does hit his head on the way home, but he makes a joke about his head being more than fine and being happy to prove it while sending Alec an indecent wink that makes his brain short-circuit, so Alec knows he’s okay.

Maia doesn’t answer the phone when they call –which is just rude– so they collapse on the couch instead, half on top of each other.

Magnus groans as he lands, his face twisting in a grimace of discomfort and arching his back to look behind it for its source. He plucks out a small hammer that belongs with one of Max’s toys and throws it over his shoulder carelessly.

Alec snorts, and shuffles closer to his husband, who smiles a tired smile, and presses a kiss to Alec’s jawline.

“Do you think she’s not replying because they tied Maia and your sister to a chair and are now feasting on all the candy in the kitchen?” he mumbles. “And probably trying to summon a demon, too.”

“That sounds like something your children would do,” Alec replies with a matching smile, edged with all the exhaustion suddenly catching back.

Magnus swats his shoulder gently. “Stop saying they’re my children every time it’s about them causing trouble,” he protests, but there is no real heat behind his words. “Who taught them to hide in the most random places to come out screaming and scare the shit out of the whole Institute?”

“I just wanted them to scare Jace.” Alec smirks proudly. “Well, that certainly turned back against me because they almost gave me a heart attack last week.”

“That’s what you deserve,” Magnus retorts, a mischievous spark glimmering in his amber eyes.

“You know,” Alec mumbles, leaning his head against the back of the couch and angling it to gaze in his husband’s eyes, “I’m really tired. Like, all the time. I didn’t think I could ever be more tired than I was when we basically saved the world and all, but having kids is actually more exhausting. At least stuffed dragons were not so demanding.”

Magnus barks out a laugh. “Do you want to go back to your dragons, darling?”

Alec snorts, raising his hands up in defeat. “They’re not even my dragons anymore,” he says. “I gave away all my dragons to my husband and my kids. I’m dragonless. No more dragons for Alec.”

“And people say I’m the drama queen,” Magnus teases, shaking his head.

“To be fair, you did interrupt your very important high warlock meeting on Monday just to text me the latest gossip.”

“Like you weren’t excited to know that these two have been getting it on.”

“Fair enough.” Alec smirks. “But hey, my point was that I’m really tired, but I am so happy you’re right here to be tired with me whenever I get home. I never thought I’d ever be this happy but I just look at you, and our two wonderful little assholes and everything makes sense.”

“Don’t turn sappy drunk on me now or I’m gonna get emotional too and then this is gonna turn into a mess,” Magnus protests halfheartedly.

“Like when Madzie had her first ballet recital,” Alec recalls with a fond smile, something warm nudging in his chest. “She looked so precious.”

“Or when Max spent his first night with us and he smiled so big when we got him out of his crib the next morning,” Magnus adds, and Alec is pretty sure he hears his voice tremble and that it isn’t due to his state of intoxication.

Alec smiles at the memory, feeling his eyes crinkle in the corner. “Or that time Max kept laughing because he was throwing food everywhere and I ended up covered in baby food and you found a bit of apple sauce in my hair when you came home.”

“That made Chairman happy,” Magnus snorts. “Oh! And when Max woke up crying in the middle of the night once so we got up to get to him but when we got to his bedroom, he had already fallen back asleep, Madzie by his side, his tiny fingers curled around her thumb.”

“They were so cute,” Alec says, his eyes drifting to the picture of that night they took that is framed and hanging on the wall of the living room. His voice is definitely not shaking. “Remember when Madzie put makeup on him because she wanted to make him look like you?”

Magnus nods and glances away, shuffling closer to rest his head against Alec’s. “And that time you took Max with you to the Institute and you sent me this video of him sitting behind your desk with his action figures, giving them orders and pretending to be you.”

Alec chuckles. “He had his wooden toy sword and he drew runes on it with a black marker – or well, something close enough to runes but he tried very hard – and he waddled around the Institute with it, fake attacking random Shadowhunters and they all played along and pretended to be hurt.”

“He was so happy when I portalled there at the end of the afternoon,” Magnus sighs blissfully.

“Oh, yeah,” Alec chuckles tearfully. “So happy he cried for twenty minutes because he didn’t want to leave and only calmed down when Madzie made funny faces at him.”

“It was when his powers were slowly starting to show up,” Magnus recalls, and Alec is sure he isn’t imagining the way his voice trembles, “and he could only do small things so he made flowers appear for everyone in the Institute and they were all walking around with their flowers.”

“There were more flowers than on our wedding day,” Alec muses out loud, blinking rapidly in an effort to compose himself. “Are you crying?”

“No,” Magnus sniffs. “Are you?”

Alec clears his throat to hide the own tremor of his voice. “No. Of course not.”

“Great,” Magnus replies shakily. “Do you want to watch their baby videos and continue to not cry?”

“Fuck yes,” Alec exclaims, wiping at his eyes.

Magnus chuckles, and twirls his fingers in the air to switch on the TV. Alec settles more comfortably against him as Madzie’s chubby little face pops up on the screen, her wide grin letting show that’s she’s missing one of her front teeth.

“I love you,” Alec murmurs, sniffing. “So, so much.”

“I love you so, so much too,” Magnus replies.

“You should totally marry me,” Alec mumbles.

Magnus titters. “We’re already married.”

“Well you should totally marry me again, then,” Alec argues reasonably.

Magnus hums. “Deal.”

.

His mind is drifting in sleep, his whole body enveloped in the warmth of a loving embrace. He feels at peace, lulled by a subtle sea flowing calmly without a ripple or a wave, no burden on his shoulders, no responsibilities.

And then, something slaps his cheek and his body jumps reflexively, Magnus groaning against the back of his neck, his hold tightening around Alec’s waist.

Alec’s eyes shoot open, only to be met by Max’s wide grin, his hand that slapped Alec to wake him up now resting on his cheek.

“Wake up, Dads!” he exclaims.

Alec groans, his head throbbing painfully. “Max,” he grunts. “What’s going on?”

“I’m hungry!” the little boy replies. “I want lunch.”

Magnus hums in Alec’s back, his head poking up so he can look at Max. “Let’s get you breakfast first, sweetheart.”

Max giggles. “Don’t be silly, Papa.”

Alec is about to answer when someone clears their throat above him and he brings a hand up to shield his eyes from the light pouring through the windows and set them on Maia, who is standing at the end of the couch, hands on her hips and a shit-eating smirk on his lips.

“It’s half past noon, guys,” she says between lips pursed in laughter.

“What?” Alec mumbles, his mind struggling to blend reality with the words that just came out of her mouth. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s half past noon,” Madzie parrots as she materializes on the other side of the couch and walks straight to them, sitting down on Alec and Magnus’ tangled legs like this is the most normal thing to do. “You weren’t answering the phone so Aunt Maia brought us back. ”

Alec grunts as Max climbs over him – and knees him in the stomach in the process – to settle on top of Magnus, laying his head over Magnus’ chest. “Papa, I’m hungry,” he complains, having clearly concluded that he wouldn’t get anything from Alec right now and therefore changing tactics.

Their son is so manipulative sometimes Alec has to take a moment to realize he isn’t dreaming.

Magnus sighs. “How about we order a pizza, yeah?” he says in a voice still heavy with sleep.

“Pizza!” Max and Madzie yell together.

Alec hisses in pain, his head thudding. “Go wash your hands first,” he mumbles weakly. “Madzie, help your brother please.”

“Come on Max,” Madzie says, in a low voice that suggests she’s telling him a secret. “If we want pizza, we have to wash our hands.”

Max nods in understanding and climbs over both Magnus and Alec now to get off the couch and follow his sister to the bathroom. As soon as they are gone, Alec and Magnus sit down in a same (but slow) movement, staring up at Maia’s smug smirk.

“Thanks for bringing them back,” Alec mumbles.

“You’re welcome,” she says with a wink. “Couldn’t let you miss them too much, right?”

There is a knowing edge to her tone, something that tells them that she knows something they don’t and that has Alec frowning in confusion.

“I guess we fell asleep and we must have been more tired than we thought if we slept so late,” Magnus adds.

“Oh yeah,” Maia replies, and Alec raises an eyebrow at her tone. “I’m sure it was _all_ because of the tiredness.” She drags the words out far longer than necessary, not even bothering to hide that she is mocking them anymore. “Nothing to do with you two being wasted.”

Alec scoffs. “We weren’t that bad. We might have had one drink too many but that’s it.”

Maia’ smirk turns somehow wider, and Alec feels his blood turn cold in his veins. “I was hoping you would say that,” she says, plucking her phone out of her pocket. “I didn’t answer the phone last night when you called me so you left me a voicemail.”

“Oh, shit,” Magnus murmurs under his breath.

Alec nods in agreement. “We don’t need to listen to it, it’s okay,” he quickly blurts out.

But Maia wouldn’t be family if she didn’t take a vicious pleasure in torturing them both. “Oops,” she says with the sincerity of a Clave member talking about Downworlders rights as she presses her thumb on the screen of her phone.

Alec’s voice immediately fills the space between them. “ _Maia! It’s me. Alec. Alec Lightwood-Bane. I’m with my husband, Magnus Lightwood-Bane._ ”

“ _Hi Maia!_ ” Magnus’ voice booms through the phone. “ _We just got home from the Hunter’s Moon and you weren’t there!_ ”

“ _Shame for you because Magnus looks really beautiful tonight and you missed it!_ ” Drunk Alec exclaims, and his voice is so loud Hangover Alec has to wonder if his drunk self yelled it directly into the phone.

“ _Aww, darling,_ ” Drunk Magnus coos.

Then, there is some shuffling, the sound of them kissing, some inaudible murmurs and Alec’s voice is back. “ _We gotta get a pool table for the apartment. Anyway, we really miss our little shits–_ ”

“ _Children_ ,” Magnus cuts in.

“ _Right,_ ” Alec says, clearing his throat. “ _We really miss our little children, please bring them back._ ”

“ _It’s been like… hours!_ ” Magnus emphasizes, sounding very distraught about the fact.

“ _Days_ ,” Alec adds, because apparently they need more drama to this conversation. “ _You gotta give them back to us. They won’t let us adopt more children if we lose the first two._ ”

“ _We could try making them_ ,” Magnus says suggestively.

“ _I don’t think that’s possible but can you imagine? Our babies would be so beautiful they would make all the other babies jealous,_ ” Alec agrees.

“ _And all the adults who are stuck with their less good-looking babies_ ,” Magnus says.

What follows is definitely the sound of the two of them clumsily high-fiving.

Alec chuckles at their silliness, before his eyes widen, just as Magnus gasps at his side, grabbing Alec’s wrist in an automatic reaction to shock. Seeking each other’s touch is something that never fades away, Alec has noticed, and it always warms his heart the same way.

“Alexander,” Magnus breathes out, baffled. “More… children?”

Alec doesn’t reply, cut off by his own voice through Maia’s phone, but he lays his fingers gently over his husband’s, toying absently with his wedding band.

“ _Was this you trying not to say ugly?_ ” he asks.

“ _Don’t make me call a baby ugly, Alexander!_ ” Magnus protests vehemently.

There is a loud beep that signals the end of the message and Alec opens his mouth to speak (although he isn’t sure what he’s going to say) but Maia raises a finger, just as another voicemail starts.

“ _Hey Maia_ ,” Alec says. “ _What’s a Malec?_ ”

Alec grunts, running a hand in his hair. “I’m never drinking again.”

Magnus and Maia let out a simultaneous and incredibly mocking laugh, and Alec glares at the both of them, but it is without heat.

Maia is soon to leave after that, and with the children coming running in the living room yelling for pizza and then having to watch Coco with them for the fourth time in a week and then working on their Halloween costumes and getting covered in paint and glitter, which means they have to give Max a bath, which means tears and drama until he elects on spraying as much water as he can on his fathers because it’s just _hilarious_ , and then the tears turn into loud shrieks of laughters, their Sunday passes fairly quickly.

It isn’t until their children are both in bed that they manage to find some peace, curled up on their bed together.

“So... “ Magnus trails off, idly tracing the wedding rune on Alec’s hand, “more children?”

Alec shrugs, lacing their fingers together. “Only if you want to. But we’re pretty awesome dads, to be honest, and I wouldn’t mind having twenty other kids and being tired all the fudging time as long as you’re right there to endure it all with me and make it all worth it.”

Magnus hums and presses a soft kiss against Alec’s lips. “I’m ready to endure all the sleepless nights if it means I get to spend them with you and our family. I would love for it to get bigger.”

Alec is about to answer, probably to proclaim his forever growing and never ending love for this incredible man he managed to find along his way, when a small voice comes from the threshold.

“Dads.”

Their heads whip towards Madzie in a same movement. She’s standing by the door, Max at her side, one of his hand clutched into her own and the other holding onto Hagrid’s ear that he is dragging behind him, the old Chairman sniffing it suspiciously.

“Max can’t sleep.”

Magnus shares a quick glance with Alec, one that says that it is going to be one of those nights, but there is nothing that could make him want to go back. Nothing that could make him want to be anywhere else but right here with his husband, his kids and all of his exhaustion.

Magnus smiles at him, soft and gentle, and Alec smiles right back, his heart skipping a beat when his husband glances back at their children and opens his arms for them to jump in. “Come here, you little monsters.”

They shuffle closer without hesitation, probably because they were expecting exactly that answer and Madzie tugs herself on Magnus’ side while Max climbs between them and settles against Alec’s chest.

“We love you,” Magnus says, dropping a kiss on each of their foreheads.

“So very much,” Alec adds with a smile, kissing the top of his son’s head and reaching out to stroke his daughter’s cheek gently.

“We love you too,” Madzie replies.

“This big,” Max says, extending his hands as far as he can go, the words half muffled by his pacifier.

Even if he really digs deep into his brain, Alec can’t really remember ever being so happy.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for the mess.
> 
> I'm (mostly) on twitter [@_L_ecrit](https://twitter.com/_L_ecrit) and sometimes on tumblr [@lecrit](http://lecrit.tumblr.com/).
> 
> All the love,  
> Lu.  
> ❤

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [DA QUALCHE PARTE, E' SEMPRE ORA DI COCCOLE](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14573661) by [kate_kate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate_kate/pseuds/kate_kate)




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